Baby
by Wr1
Summary: First chapter won't be up until late Feb. I want to see if anyone's interested. Lee and Lucy are trying to have a baby without much luck. Not very funny and quite serious. I bet that's put you off but please don't let it have.
1. Chapter 1

Hi!

I'll end up posting the new multi chapter fic I've got onto this but I wanted to see if anyone is interested before I write anymore. Each chapter will be between 800 ( I know it's not much but with some I've already written I think it came to it's natural end) and 1000 words ish and there's about 30 chapters.

The basic story line without giving too much away it Lee and Lucy are to have a baby but things don't necessarily go to plan. It's quite a serious fic and it's not funny (I stress that now! I can't write funny.) and it shows Lee's character being a lot more serious, caring and emotional than normal. Which showed a bit with the last couple of episodes of Not Going Out.

Speaking of the actual tv series Lee Mack's considering a spin off series or carrying it on. I personally think he's rather keen to do more. But we'll see. I've veered off track a bit.

if anyone's interested please let me know (via review, favourite, follow or PM) and I should hopefully have the first chapter up by the end of February.

Thank you.

P.S I know I've done a baby fic before but it's focusing more on Lee and Lucy rather than the baby itself...if that makes sense.


	2. Question

_**I've explained the story in the first chapter. Thank you to everyone who's interested. Lee's said he's interested in doing more NGO so fingers crossed that he'll bring it back somehow. Enjoy and let me know what you think. Also I'd like to say sorry for the chapter being later than I said it would.**_

Oh she was nervous. Really nervous. She's faced thousands of people whilst doing a speech, her dad and brother when telling them she was getting married to Lee and had even faced the nerves of ridiculous situations but nothing matched up to the nerves she felt now. Even if every time she felt nervous was added up and put into her it wouldn't compare.

Taking a deep breath she made her way into the living room and towards the sofa where her husband sat. Him with his navy pyjama bottoms on, navy t-shirt and white shirt placed on top, his feet propped up on the coffee table with the remote in his hands. He was watching some sort of action film. It was his fault she was this nervous. If she knew he wasn't so petrified of the idea she wouldn't be this nervous. Lucy knew her nerves were showing now, her hands shaking beneath the sleeves of her jumper where she hid them and her breathing had picked up and became audible.

Lee was facing her now, obviously having noticed her nerves. Oh God it was becoming unbearable. Why was one simple question so hard to ask? She knew marriage proposals should be the hardest but Lee had probably shocked himself when he had asked it so it was spontaneous more than planned. Hers though, hers was planned. Lucy had been wanting ask this all week. Now she thought it would be a good time to ask him. They'd been married for about six months and she'd waited long enough to ask him. Even if he said that yes he didn't mind but not just yet then she'd be happy. It meant that there was a chance.

"Lucy, what's wrong?" Obviously he had noticed the worried expression on his wife's face and had wanted to ask that question.

Lucy's head ducked as she brought her sleeves even further over her hands. She was so confident usually but asking her husband, the man she'd agreed to spend the rest of her life with and the man she loved and more than anything in the world one question reduced her to a quivering ball of nerves.

"Um.." And her voice croaked slightly, shocking her and Lee as she began to speak for the first time since she exited their bedroom.

This was scaring him slightly now. What could be so bad that she couldn't get the words out to tell him? They'd had this conversation just after they'd got engaged so suddenly. They had promised each other than that they would be more honest to each other, talk about what was bothering them or plaguing their thoughts, they found it a must if their relationship was to work. Plus, Lee had promised to take some things more seriously and less jokes when they weren't needed.

"C'mon, love what's wrong?" The term of endearment which was very rarely muttered from Lee's lips showed his concern. He only ever used love, sweetheart or darling when he wanted something, she on the other hand used it a bit more often but never regularly. They just weren't that sort of couple.

"I've...got a question," She informed him as Lee nodded his head for her to carry on. Ok so she had started and couldn't back out now.

"C'mon, Luce. Tell me what's wrong," Lee was close to pleading now as he placed her hand on Lucy's arm which had begun to shake as well. Shaking? Why on earth was she shaking? It must be serious.

"Lee...I know you're scared about the idea and I just need you to think about it for me. Promise me you'll think about it?" Lucy questioned desperately as she searched his eyes.

"I promise but you haven't told me yet," Lee chuckled slightly in a scared was as he took hold of her hands, his thumbs running over the back of her knuckles.

Gulping the lump in her throat Lucy finally said, "can we start trying?" And by the confused expression on his face he had no idea what she was on about.

"What?" Lee was genuinely confused and had no clue what she was talking about.

"Can we start trying for a baby?" She whispered as Lee's mouth dropped open and his hands let go of hers. Ok, that was a shock and now he felt slightly apprehensive. What had she just asked him!?

Lucy was prepared for this reaction that's why she got up off of the sofa and in a whispered tone said, "please think about it," Before wandering off into the kitchen, tears stinging her eyes.

The possibility of him saying no becoming more of a possibility the harder she thought about it, but she had an argument prepared if he did say no. If that didn't win him round then she'd just have to reign herself to the fact she might never have a child. Unless she became 'accidentally' pregnant. That could work too. But Lucy didn't want to do that. It had to be something they both wanted. The thought of Lee possibly resenting their child because he was petrified of having children scared her senseless. But that's all she could do now was wait to hear what Lee would say in answer to her question.

Once Lucy left Lee simply sat there staring into space, in shock and silence.


	3. Decision

_**There's going to be some major twists in this story... I'd like to explain that I've pre written this and that's why if I don't' say thank you for reviews etc. at the start of a chapter it's because I've already uploaded the document. So... I'd like to say a massive thank you in advance! There's not a lot of dialogue in this chapter.**_

Had she just asked what he thought she'd asked? Had she really just asked him if they could start trying for a baby? A baby? Him having a baby? Being a guardian? Being a father? A dad? Raising another human to be good and successful, when he wasn't successful himself? Having another life in his hands?

He couldn't do it. He couldn't be a father. He had only recently worked up the courage to be a husband to Lucy. The woman he'd been in love with for years and he would do anything for her but the thought of kids scared him shitless.

Lee had never had the best idea on how a dad should be. His had been either absent or drunk half of the time. What sort of example did that give him? The closest he had gotten to an actual father was his mothers long term boyfriend after his dad had gone Awol. He wasn't much good either, constantly out having affairs and coming back high but he'd been there...sometimes. More than his father had been anyway. And when his father did eventually come back from his 'vacations' he'd spend the time that they could have possibly had bonding, down in the pub with his mates and occasionally eating his goldfish.

He was scared. Scared was probably an understatement the more he thought about it. He was absolutely petrified. He'd be absolutely rubbish at it. He had no doubt that Lucy would be a great mother but he wasn't good enough. Lee could hardly look after himself, how could he look after another living, breathing human being? And one that would be tiny and need everything provided for them? The early mornings, nappy changes and late night feedings were unavoidable but all together unappealing.

And then there was the worry. Toby had said himself that when he looked at Jack he gets an overwhelming sense of worry. The worry would cause him to become paranoid and stressed. He didn't need that. Not at his age anyway. Lee had to admit that he was getting on a bit and probably left things a bit later than he should've with Lucy...Lucy.

She really, really wanted this and he knew that. Of course he knew that. She'd even gone and tried to have a child by a donor earlier that year and then settled on him. When she had mentioned it he'd panicked. They weren't even a couple and she was asking him to be a father like she had just now but at least they were together. The fact that she had picked him, made him feel slightly...honoured. Proud even. Lucy wanted...no wants a child with him of all people when she could have picked any man in the world but she went with him. And in someways he still couldn't believe it.

And since they got married he now had the responsibility of two lives; his and Lucy. How could he possibly add a third? Lee had always tried to take care of Lucy. His attempts had either worked or failed but he tried for her because he loves her. A baby is a different matter, he'd love the child, of course he would. It would be their own flesh and blood. But he couldn't fail at his attempts to protect a mini him or Lucy, he couldn't take the chance. Whereas Lucy was a fully grown adult and if he fucked up then Lucy could still take care of herself.

Did he really just think of a mini him or Lucy? A mini him would be awful but a mini Lucy wouldn't be too bad. At least the child would have her work ethics and looks, whereas if the child ended up like him it would be lazy. But a mini version of them both would be better, surely? A mixture. Better to have a bit of variety, right?

And that made him smile slightly. The image of a small person running around the flat with her hair and his eyes as Lucy chased the child, both of their giggles filling the air. But even as he imagined it he couldn't help but worry. Worry for them both.

Then his thoughts turned to darker thoughts. What if things went wrong during the pregnancy? What if he lost them both or if she had twins or triplets and were to lose them all? He wouldn't have anything to want to live for? His life would be gone in an instant. What if he would end up being the one to cause it?

Tears fell from his eyes, freely as he imagined different scenario's about losing his wife and children. No he couldn't. He knew he wouldn't let it happen. Lee would do what he promised both Lucy and Geoffrey. He would protect her to the ends of the earth and if needs be he'd happily lay his life down for her.

His thoughts carried on playing tennis. Back and forth between the positives and negatives. Lee hadn't noticed when Lucy had gone to bed or that the three hour film he had been watching finished and was now halfway through the next film. He'd sat there for hours and now it was two in the morning. Lee had manage to just sit there and not move for hours, just thinking about having a baby. Like he had promised Lucy he would. Deciding it would be best he dragged himself off to bed.

Dragging his feet into their bedroom he smiled at the sight of Lucy curled up in bed, asleep, with her back to him. And he knew his decision. Silently he got dressed into his pyjamas before slipping into bed, curling up behind Lucy. Kissing the back of her neck, Lucy stirred as she smiled and murmured,"what time is it?"

"Half past two in the morning," Lee whispered back in-between kisses on her neck as her fingers laced with his.

"Why are you trying to get off with me at this time in the morning?" Lucy giggled slightly as Lee's hand made its way under her top, to lay on her stomach.

"Just thought you would like to get a head start on making a baby," He whispered back as Lucy took a few seconds for the words to sink in.

Once his words finally processed themselves in her mind she had flipped over to face him, her eyes wide and sparkling, and a grin across her face,"really?"

"Really."


	4. Sure?

_**Just a warning they'll probably end up say I love you quite a lot in this fic. Any suggestions for one-shots would be gratefully received. I'm trying to reach 50 on my NGO story. Thanks. And reviews are always welcome whether they be good or bad (I prefer the former but constructive criticism is good as well!).**_

"So what's this about getting a head start?" Lucy mumbled into his lips as she felt Lee grin slightly, his hands going to rest at her waist. When his hands came into contact with her skin she frowned slightly. Lucy put her hands over his as she detached her lips from his.

"What's wrong?" Lee questioned as he peered at her, his own frown appearing on his face.

"I was about to ask you the same question. Your hands are shaking," Lucy replied as she brought his hands up to their line of vision. They were trembling and when Lee tried to calm it, the trembling only got worse.

"Just a bit nervous, I guess," he answered as Lucy looked at him with adoration and a small smile as her right hand went play with his hair, her eyes training on the movement.

"About what?" Lucy whispered as Lee shrugged, "c'mon, Lee. Talk to me. We promised each other we'd talk when something's wrong. If you don't want a baby, Lee, we won't have one," that broke her heart to say but she wouldn't do anything her husband wasn't happy with. Both of them mattered.

"What if something goes wrong? What if I'm a terrible father? What if I disappoint you? What if I let something happen to you or the baby?" He fired his questions at her as Lucy's eyes bore into his now. She could see and sense genuine terror in his eyes.

"There's always a risk, Lee," Lucy sighed before carrying on, "if you're worried about ending up like your father, it won't happen. You've learnt from his mistakes and I doubt you'll repeat them. You know better. And so far although at points you're lazy, sarcastic, rude and feckless you've been the best husband I could ask for because you're you and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you," Lucy pressed a kiss to his lips as Lee's hands went and held back on to hers, tightly.

"I love you too," Lee replied automatically.

"And if a baby's not what you want then we won't have one. I'll come to terms with it. You'll just have to give me some time," Lucy reassured him.

"I've thought about it Lucy and I want a baby with you. I'd do anything to make you happy, Lucy and I want to make it happen. I don't want to lose you," Lucy knew Lee could be insecure but she didn't know that he was that insecure.

"You'll never lose me...unless you do something really stupid," Lucy chuckled as Lee rolled his eyes.

"Chances are pretty high then," he joked as she nudged his leg with hers, giggles filling the air as she moved one of her hands to rest on his shoulder, her thumb rubbing into the material of his t-shirt in circular motions.

"We only have a child if you're sure, Lee," she tried again as Lee nodded his head.

"I'm sure, darling," and Lucy's neutral expression turned into a grin, her arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him in for a hug as his head rested on her shoulders and hers buried into his chest, "Lucy?"

"Yeah?" She whispered back as her fingers traced random patterns over his t-shirt by her head.

"You do realise you won't get pregnant straight away," he had to make sure that she realised that it might be a while before she became pregnant. He'd give them at least six months and if nothing happened then he'll see what he could do.

"I know. But we might get lucky," Lucy tried her best to be optimistic sometimes when he knew that she was slightly upset or pessimistic. This was one of those times.

"But we'll try our best like we always do," Lee consoled.

"Because it's me and you," Lucy added as she felt the vibrations of Lee's chuckle through his chest as he questioned her choice of words and she defended herself with, "it rhymes!"

"You're crazy," Lee stated fondly as he kissed the top of her head, before smiling into her hair.

"I know I am," Lucy replied with knowing in her voice as she poked at his chest, a grin crossing her own features.

"How?"

"I decided to put up with you," Lucy teased as she felt Lee pull her tighter to him, a small chuckle escaping her lips.

"And I thought the reason you put up with me was because you love me," Lee pouted as he felt Lucy's hands slip under his t-shirt and wrap around his waist as she pressed herself further into him, her spread across his lower back.

"I love you very much. You're going to be a great dad," Lucy muttered through a yawn as she settled down. Lee tried pulling her even closer but found he couldn't. Instead he intertwined his legs with hers. He'd dreamed of this for years and now he'd make sure he'd never let this dream go.

He wasn't entirely sure what had helped him finally make up his mind but at the moment Lee couldn't be happier. Lucy was happy and he was going to hopefully be a dad. The thought sounding more appealing to him as Lucy reassured and consoled him that he was nothing like his father in that way and probably never will be. Despite being ecstatic the niggling thought that something was going to go wrong still sat in the back of his mind. Shaking his head from the thought he kissed the top of his wife's head before falling asleep with her. They could start trying tomorrow, after some rest.


	5. Chapter 5

"Why hasn't anything happened?" Came the sudden question from Lucy as she settled onto the sofa beside him, slipping her heels off after a stressful day at work.

"You've got to give it time, Lucy," Lee sighed as he handed her his glass of wine, Lucy taking a big gulp, "how was work?" Lee questioned as Lucy's legs went and rested on top of his, his fingers going to massage the skin there.

"Hectic. One of the newer clients made a complaint about something stupid which then had to be addressed. Turns out I did it right in the first place!" Lucy complained as Lee nodded his head. Of course Lucy would have had it right in the first place, she always did.

"So everything's sorted now?"

"Thank God," muttered Lucy as she let herself fall to lie on her back, a sigh escaping her lips, "what did you do today then? Or can I answer that one for myself?"

"I'll have you know I've applied for a job," he informed her as a matter of fact with a point of his forefinger as Lucy arched an eyebrow a disbelieving look on her face.

"What job?"

"In the local brewery," he replied with a cheeky grin as Lucy rolled her eyes. That wouldn't go well and Lee knew the direction of her thoughts, "no I've applied to be a concierge in the posh hotel down the road. It was the only job I could find close to the flat."

"And?" Lucy questioned as Lee grinned and tapped her leg.

"I've got an interview tomorrow."

"Congratulations!" Lucy exclaimed as she leaped up and hugged her husband, her head resting on his shoulder as she curled her legs up underneath her.

"I haven't got the job yet," he chuckled as he felt Lucy shrug. He'd been trying like he said he would, to improve. The fact that he was trying earned him a congratulations in itself. Lucy couldn't be the only one that won the money in the flat, he had to try and help to support them and he had realised that very suddenly since the whole trying for a baby cropped up.

They lapsed into silence then, Lucy playing with his fingers as Lee's fingers played with the ends of her hair. Lee had shrugged off her question earlier and she needed to know. She needed to know where they both went from here. What they were going to do. It had been six months since they began and Lucy knew it wasn't a long time but they needed to be prepared. She needed to be prepared for the worse to happen. She needed to know what they would both be willing to do if they couldn't conceive a child

"Lee, what do we do if a few months pass by and I don't get pregnant?" Lucy mumbled as Lee sighed. He knew Lucy wanted to talk about it but he just thought they needed more time.

"Why don't we give it more time?" He suggested as Lucy sprung up to look him in the eye.

"What about when that time passes?" Lucy urged. Maybe it would be a good idea for them to talk about the next step. It would prepare them and they'd have a plan for the future.

"What do you think we should do?" Lee fired the question back at her as Lucy shrugged. She didn't know where they should begin.

Thinking about it in silence for a couple of minutes, Lucy ran through the list of possibilities in her head. She had to work out what they could afford and what could be considered as a possibility. What they were both comfortable with doing.

"If we saved we could try IVF. If that doesn't work I guess adoption is an option," Lucy informed him as Lee nodded.

It was better than her suggesting a donor, he didn't think either of them would be comfortable with it even though she had thought about it before but it was different now. They were married, they wanted it together. Lee couldn't help but think about what would've happened to them if Lucy and him had actually tried all those months ago. They might not have gotten together, Lee might not have had the push to have actually admitted that he loved her but they could be sat on the sofa right now with a child in one of their arms. But would Lee have actually stuck around? Would've Lucy? For all he knew Lucy could've left London with the baby and not have seen him again for year. But he knew that he wouldn't have let that happen. The thought of him having a child would've began to appeal to him.

"If that's what you want to do, Lucy," he stated. If she wanted to do that then he would.

"We've both got to want this, Lee. If you're not happy with it then we won't do it."

"I want this," Lee reassured her as his hands took hold of hers, "but I only want to do what you're comfortable with. I'm fine with those options but I'm only going to go through with them if you really want to. But we'll give it a few more months and go from there."

Smiling Lucy leant forward and let her lips touch Lee's. After a second Lee pulled back and mumbled, "but we can keep trying, right?" Trust him to think about that.

Chuckling slightly Lucy muttered, "of course," against his lips. Well, she could hardly refuse him, right?


	6. Chapter 6

_**I really am trying to get the word count as close to a thousand as possible. Read and review. Please?**_

Lee entered the flat and was met with silence and no wife. Lucy was nowhere to be seen. That was odd. Usually she'd be up watching TV with some tea or a glass of wine, waiting for him to return home from work.

Lee had managed to secure that job in the end. Lucy had asked how and his answer was that he'd used his natural, God given charm. Lucy had rolled her eyes at that, only for Lee to then exclaim it "worked on you!" Lucy had simply shrugged and made a joking comment about her getting desperate, to which he sulked but soon grinned as she kissed him to reassure him that she was only joking. Which as many scenarios like that had escalated rather quickly?

Placing his formal black jacket on the back of the sofa and undoing his tie and waistcoat Lee wandered into the kitchen. She hadn't even done dinner, there was usually dinner from when she made some for herself. Ok, now he was beginning to get worried, if there wasn't any dinner then she hadn't eaten herself. Running a hand through his hair and scratching the back of his head, Lee made his way towards their bedroom.

Turning the door handle that was in his hand, Lee poked his head through the door and sighed as he saw Lucy curled up in a ball, her back and shoulders shaking as she tried to suppress sobs. The sniffling and occasional hitch of her breath is what gave it away. How was he going to deal with this? He couldn't stand to see her cry but she'd never actually cried properly, as in full blown sobs since they became married so he hadn't had to deal with it. He'd only had to deal with the occasional sniffle and teary eyes. Now she was trying not to sob and he had no clue what to do. Maybe finding out what was wrong in the first place would be a good idea.

Shuffling apprehensively on his feet Lee made his way around the bed and kneeled down so he was face to face with Lucy. Lee watched as she jumped at the sudden contact of his hand on her shoulder and then he gained an unexpected smack his arm, a quite hard smack at that. How didn't he know that his wife could hurt? Lee winced as he rubbed his arm whilst he peered back at her with a questioning expression on his face. Why did she just smack him?

"You..you scared me," she choked out as Lee gave her a small smile. He didn't know if the smile would help but everything was worth the shot at the moment.

"What's wrong?" Lee questioned as his hand moved to tuck some stray strands of hair from her face. Lucy's cheeks were red as was the end of her nose, tears falling one by one in rapid concession as they made glistening tracks along her face.

"I watched One Born Every Minute," Lucy muttered, slightly embarrassed and slightly ashamed of herself for some reason. Realisation dawned on Lee then and he sighed. He'd told her specifically not to watch that programme. Well, that and Call the Midwife, they were a recipe for disaster at the moment.

"Why did you watch it?" He desperately tried to not sound exasperated.

"There was nothing else on," and then her sobs increased a bit.

Kissing her forehead Lee stood as he undid his shirt sleeves and couple of buttons before slipping off his shoes. Climbing onto the bed behind Lucy, Lee rolled her over as she cuddled into him, sniffles and hitches of breath escaping her. Closing his eyes Lee sighed. The more time that passed the more it upset her. She was reaching breaking point and they needed to do something about it.

"I'll book an appointment. With the doctor to see what we can do," Lee suggested as he heard Lucy's cries slowly slow down. It was the sensible thing to do.

"What?" She questioned, her voice slightly raspy from crying, "what did you say?"

"I'll book an appointment for us to talk about our options with a doctor. You really want this Lucy and I want to take it seriously."

"Like you've been doing with our marriage," she answered back as she felt Lee chuckle.

"I personally think I've been doing well. I've gotten a job and the jokes have been brought down to a minimum," he counter argued and it was Lucy's turn to chuckle.

"I was only teasing. I know you'll take it seriously," she replied as her hand came up to wipe her face, to try and erase the now dry tear tracks on her face. It always surprised her how quickly she recovered from even small batches of crying when Lee was around. He comforted and calmed her and she couldn't be more grateful for that.

"You're not supposed to tease your husband," Lee muttered as he flipped himself to lie over her, "unless..."

"Unless what?" Lucy questioned with a knowing smirk as he lowered his head to hover by hers, noses touching.

"Shall I demonstrate?" He questioned cheekily.

"I think you'll have to," Lucy replied, her tears replaced with a cheeky glint in her eye and smile on her face.


	7. Chapter 7

_**New character alert! Hope you enjoy! Anything you would like to me to add I shall try to fit it in to a chapter somewhere so let me know. Thank you!**_

Two weeks later and they were now sat in the clinics waiting room. Hard, blue plastic chairs lined the wall and stood in the middle of the room, white walls with health campaign posters dotter around the place, reception to the right with a dull looking receptionist and the occasion adult, child and teenager scattered around the place. It was truly a depressing sight.

Lee and Lucy sat next to each other, hands clutched together as they rested on his thigh, worried expressions on their faces. Lee had booked the appointment the day after he'd found Lucy crying in her bedroom, and that's why they found themselves sitting where they were two weeks later. That was the earliest booking Lee had managed to get.

"Nervous?" Lee whispered to Lucy as he peered down at the top of her head, his hand squeezing hers in slight reassurance. It was a big deal for the both of them.

"A bit. You?" Lucy asked as she looked back up at her husband.

"Yeah," he chuckled as he sent her a small smile. Deciding it might be best to change the subject of conversation to ease the worry and slight tension Lee questioned, "Have you heard from Tim recently?"

Knowing what he was doing Lucy answered him. If she was honest she was glad he'd tried to lighten things up a little bit in the gloomy waiting room, "spoke to him yesterday. He said he wouldn't be back until Christmas and that he's got a surprise for then."

"But that's not for another eight months!" Lee exclaimed as Lucy nodded her head. Lucy knew Lee missed his best friend but they spoke at least once a week on Skype chatting about football, pubs, alcohol and Lucy.

"I know but you know what Tim's like," she answered as Lee shrugged his shoulder.

Before Lee could say anything else to his wife they were interrupted by a cough, "sorry to interrupt I just wanted to say hi."

Lucy peered at the woman in front of her with a confused expression. She was tall with brunette hair and brown eyes, immaculately dressed and her make up looked as if it was done by a professional. The woman bore a kind smile on her face and recognition in her eyes. When Lucy turned to Lee his mouth was hanging open, grabbing her palm she pushed it shut for him.

"Uh.. Lucy this is Jenny. My ex," he mumbled the last bit as Lucy's eyes widened before turning back to the woman in front of her.

"Hi. Nice to meet you," Lucy greeted politely whilst reminding herself to try and get some answers out of Lee later. Lucy didn't like the jealousy that was rising in her, she didn't usually act like this but for some reason she didn't like the eyes Jenny was sending her husband.

"Pleasure's all mine," Jenny answered as she sat down opposite them, black handbag in lap as hands clutched it.

Lucy didn't like this one bit. Lee was shuffling nervously in the seat beside her, his hand clutching hers rather tightly and she knew it was to reassure her rather than him. Reassure her that she was the one he wanted and loved. No one else.

"I'm going to go to the toilet," Lucy whispered to him. She was desperate to go but had been so nervous she'd forgotten. That was until jealousy took over her emotions and she realised she really needed to go.

"Ok," Lee replied as he leant in and kissed her on the lips briefly before watching her leave.

"Girlfriend?" Jenny questioned with a nod of her head towards the direction that Lucy had headed.

"Wife," Lee replied with a slightly wistful tone in his voice as he continued to watch Lucy's departure.

"You got married!?" Jenny exclaimed with disbelief in her voice as Lee met her gaze evenly. He'd never seemed like the settling down type.

"I love her."

"Right. Course," Jenny smiled as Lee nodded his head, whilst he checked his watch. They should be going in soon.

"So, how've you been?" Lee asked, trying to make polite chit chat.

"Good. Yeah. Working as a manager in a local business," she explained as Lee nodded his head,"you?"

"Concierge in a hotel," Lee answered, slightly awkwardly. Where the hell was Lucy!?

"Lee and Lucy?" Came the voice of a nurse as Lee's head snapped up.

"I'll just go and get the missus," he answered with a point of his finger as the nurse nodded his head as Lee jogged down the corridor.

"Luce, we've been called," Lee said through the bathroom door as he knocked on it.

Not two seconds later Lucy appeared from the bathroom door with a nervous smile on her face. Grabbing her hands as he squeezed them in reassurance, "ready?"

"No."

"Me neither," he mumbled as Lucy nodded her head.

"I love you," she replied as she leant up and kissed him.

"I love you too."

Neither noticed Jenny watching them with a smirk on her face.


	8. Chapter 8

_**I'd like to apologise for any mistakes in any of my stories,really. The good news is there's going to be a Christmas special of Not Going Out. The bad news is we still don't know whether he's going to write a full series. We'll have to wait and see.**_

"When should we be hearing from them?" Lee questioned as he walked into the kitchen that morning, his arms circling Lucy's waist as his head rested on her shoulder as she cooked on the stove.

"Today supposed to be," Lucy replied.

They sat and talked through their options with the doctor, him urging them to carry on trying no matter what happens. They'd sat there for half an hour afterwards talking about other possibilities. Lucy and Lee had told them their plan and he had nodded his head, saying it should work and that they'd managed to not jump to anything drastic He'd then ran some tests on them both and then explained that they should hear back within two weeks. Since the appointment the two had been on edge and nerves had settled firmly inside them both.

"I'm scared," Lee whispered vulnerably as he played with the end on his navy shirt that Lucy had decided to adopt that morning.

"Me too. I'm sure everything will be fine," for having been reassured for the past few months by her husband Lucy thought it best to return the favour. Lee seemed more nervous than she did at the moment. Lucy knew he was worried about his dignity as well as having a child and she knew his ego could be bruised easily and she knew that neither of them wanted that to happen.

"Yeah I'm sure it will be," Lee whispered as he kissed the side of her neck that was visible above the shirt's collar.

"And if not then we'll figure it out," Lucy mumbled back as she felt Lee nod his head on her shoulder. No matter what they always seemed to find their way around things, much to their astonishment and amusement. It completely baffled them sometimes.

**NGNGONGONGO**

They spent the rest of the day in the flat. Lee had changed into tracksuit bottoms and a top whilst Lucy stayed in his shirt but had put a pair of pyjama shorts on underneath. God forbid if her parent had walked in and she hadn't had had them on.

The day was going annoyingly slow for the pair of them. The longer they had to wait the longer the paranoia remained which meant the longer they were both on end, snapping at each other. There was no retort to any snap, swear word or comment that each of them made because they were both doing it for the same reason.

When the phone finally rang for the first time that day Lee was near the desk and the first thing he did was dive onto the sofa to retrieve if from its sitting position on one of the cushions. With a shaky hand he pressed receive call.

"Hello?" He questioned nervously as he sat back up on the sofa. Lucy was currently in the bathroom.

"We've got your results," came the voice of their doctor over the phone. Relief and apprehension being his main feelings at the moment as he listened to the shuffle of paper and a sigh across the phone.

"And?" Lee asked as he held the phone tightly to his ear, he couldn't miss a word the doctor was about to say to him. This was going to make or break them.

"Umm..well. Right let's start with Lucy," oh God this didn't sound very good, "As far as we can see Lucy is fine but the longer it takes for her to get pregnant the less chances she has. Age has a major factor in it."

"What about me?" And Lee knew for certain that this wasn't going to be as good as Lucy's.

"You've got a low sperm count," right, it wasn't the worst thing in the world but it certainly wasn't the best, "you and Lucy can still try for a baby but it'll take more time and it might not happen."

"Oh," was the only thing that Lee's mouth could produce as he listened to the doctor explain their situation.

"If nothing happens in the next couple of months phone me and I'll arrange IVF treatment like we spoke about," he finished as Lee nodded his head although he knew he couldn't see him.

"Thank you, doctor," Lee finished lamely as he hung up the phone a frown on his face as he played with the device in his hands.

It wasn't the results he had wanted and he knew they weren't the results that Lucy had wanted but the Doctor had said that they could still have a child of their own, it was still a possibility for them and that gave him a little bit of hope.

"The doctor's just been on the phone," Lee announced as Lucy came walking back into the living room.

"And?" She questioned nervously much like Lee had done as she sat herself down on the sofa next to him, one of her hands going to his thigh. Lee could never hide his emotions well and Lucy knew it wasn't good news.

"You're fine," he began with a small smile on his face. Lucy would have let a sigh of relief pass her lips but she knew that he wasn't done, "but I've got a low sperm count."

"Are you ok?" Lucy asked him as Lee nodded his head. It was hard to deal with at the moment but he knew it wasn't the worse thing to happen, "And what does that do to our possibility of having a child?"

"He said that it might still happen but the possibility is lower now. He said to phone him back about IVF if nothing happens in the next couple of months."

"Ok. Are you sure you're ok?" Lucy questioned as she heard him sniff.

"Yeah."

"You're not, Lee. It's not the end of the world and it could still happen. I love you and it won't get in the way of our marriage I won't let it."

"No. I know. It's just makes me feel like I'm less of a man," he mumbled honestly to her as Lucy's gaze softened.

"It doesn't Lee. We'll get through this, yeah?"

"Yeah," Lee replied as he squeezed her hand. He wasn't going to let this defeat him.


	9. Chapter 9

_**This is only a small chapter because I've had writers block on it and it's taken a while to actually write the first few sentences. Sorry! Oh and before I continue with this fic...We know Lee's frightened of the prospect of having a baby in the sitcom but he warms to the idea occasionally. Plus, I've kind of got writers block for the next few chapters so bare with me. Thanks to everyone for the reviews and please let me know what you think. (All facts and figures are courtesy of Google and books I've found lying about in boxes.). **_

They sat in the hospital, hands clutching each other's tightly. They'd come for their consultation. They only had one chance at this, they could only afford to have the treatment once. One chance and if it didn't work then they'd have to take the next step. They both knew it wasn't the end of the world or that it would be the end of their possibilities to have child.

Lee and Lucy were both aware that there were health risks involved, that there was only a 20-25% chance of the treatment working on them. But it was the only option they had left that they could use to conceive a child made out of their DNA.

Lee and Lucy sat in silence; both to nervous to utter a word to each other. The silence only broke the occasional time when Lucy offered him a sweet or when Lee had told her he had to go to the toilet. The waiting area was even quite with people waiting in their seat, obviously as nervous as they were.

They had been there for an hour when the doctor finally called them. Simultaneously they stood up, Lee tugging on the end of his t-shirt as Lucy hiked her bag onto her shoulder.

"Ready?" She questioned as her hand slipped into his, a nod of his head was his reply.

They both sat next to each other, the doctor the other side as he leant on his desk, glasses perching on the end of his nose, grey hair flattened down. Lee and Lucy listened carefully as he explained the whole procedure to them, warning them on health risks and probabilities and possibilities. Both nodded their heads at the right time as he questioned them whether they were sure they wanted to go through with it.

"You should get the date of the appointment through the post," he explained as Lee and Lucy stood up, shaking his hand and thanking him for his time.

So, when they received the appointment, they had immediately booked time off work and rearranged plans around it. When the day came they were both just as nervous as they were when they had their consultation, if not more as they prepared to leave the house, going through the motions of their morning routine, barely uttering a word to each other.

"C'mon or we're going to be late," Lee muttered to her as he handed her, her coat and handbag.

"I'm scared," Lucy admitted as Lee nodded at her sympathetically.

"Me too, Luce," he answered as he brought his arms around her, bringing her in for a hug, "but just think at the end of this we might have a baby."

"I hope so," she muttered into his shoulder as he squeezed her tighter before letting go.

"Let's go," looping her arm through his, she let him guide her out of the flat.


	10. Chapter 10

It took seven weeks for them to complete their IVF treatment. Seven weeks of stress and doctors' appointments to get to the point they were at now, sitting in the doctor's room to see if the treatment had worked.

Lee sat with his arms leaning on his legs, hands clutched together and his foot tapping the floor impatiently. He just wanted to get the results so they would know what their next step was, whether it was buying baby clothes and beginning the nursery or deciding to adopt. He just needed to know, he hated the uncertainty. Staring at the white wall in front of he read the same poster over and over again as his foot continued to tap and his nerves begun to rise.

Lucy was faring much better. Her nerves had pretty much reached their limit and she could feel her hands shaking as she placed them underneath her thighs to try and stop it. It wasn't working though, the more she tried to stop the shakes the more they increased. Lucy closed her eyes willing for her nerves to settle but it was pointless, she knew it wouldn't until she knew the results. And Lee's foot wasn't helping.

"Lee, please stop it," she muttered with slight frustration. Lee sighed and stopped his foot. Instead he let his finer tap his other hand, it didn't make any noise and it wouldn't irritate Lucy.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"Thank you," Lucy sighed with slight relief as she opened her eyes, them going to the same poster Lee was staring at.

They both jumped as the doctor walked through the door, his face expressionless as it gave nothing away. Lee and Lucy had no idea what to think as he gave them a small smile before going to sit behind his desk, clicking a few times on the computer screen before turning to face Lee and Lucy completely, a grim expression on his face.

"I'm sorry…" He begun as Lucy zoned out she knew it was a long shot but she had still clung onto the opportunity of it working. She felt Lee's hand close around hers as she kept the tear at bay. Right, so the next step it was. Lucy needed to speak to her mother first though, get her input on the whole situation.

Lee also knew there was a small possibility of the treatment working and to hear it hadn't broke his heart a bit. They'd just been pushed back a step further and he didn't need that, they didn't need that. It was tough reassuring Lucy all the time and he knew she found it tough to reassure him when he would become doubtful and begin to question whether or not they should carry on if it was going to cause all of this hassle. Although, he knew the results would be worth it but it was draining.

"…you could always go through the treatment again," the doctor suggested at the end of his explanation as Lee turned to Lucy, he was pretty sure he could find the money in his savings and his income was starting to build up but Lucy was shaking her head.

"If we do, doctor we won't be able to afford to bring up a child," she muttered with slight regret, "we just can't afford it."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he muttered as Lucy gave him a weak smile before standing up, tugging Lee up by his hand before they both took their turns shaking the doctors' hand whilst saying their thanks before they exited the room.

Breathing a heavy sigh as he exited the room Lee leant against the white wall as Lucy came to stand in front of him. Taking hold of his hands, she leant up on her tip toes to give him a kiss, a silent reassurance that she was ok and that everything would work out in the end. One parted he let his arm encircle her as he leant his chin on top her head, kissing it before closing his eyes, as Lucy let her arms wrap around him.

"It's going to work alright, isn't it?" He heard Lucy mumble into his shirt as he nodded his head.

"Yeah it is," he wasn't going to promise because he couldn't guarantee anything and that killed him inside. He would love to tell his wife that in the end she would get what they want but he can't and he wasn't going to say promised he can't keep.

"I'll book an appointment with social services later," Lucy informed him as she leant back from his embrace, Lee nodding his head in agreement, "Can we go and see mum and dad tomorrow?"

"Yeah, ok," Lee would normally argue with going to see her parents but he knew he shouldn't because of the situation. If Lucy needs to see her parents then he would grant her that, even if he has to deal with his father in law who was still finding it hard to warm up to Lee, despite their chat in the police van on their wedding day.

Letting his hand slide down her arm to intertwine with hers he began leading them out of the hospital and towards the car park in silence, hoping that things would eventually be ok because he didn't how they would be if Lucy can't have a child. Lee was left pondering the possible outcomes the whole way home.


	11. Chapter 11

**_Sorry the chapters are short (I'm struggling to write around a 1,000 words per chapter of this fic) but I hope you enjoy. There will be some more twist and turns down the line! Please review and let me know what you think._**

"Mum, I don't know what to do," Lucy sighed as she faced Wendy on the sofa in her parents' house. Lee and Geoffrey had gone to get food from the takeaway down the street, Geoffrey having muttered something about father and son in law time. Lucy personally thought it was a load of bollocks.

"What do you mean?" Wendy asked as she leant back, crossing her leg over the other one as she took a sip of her wine. Wendy was slightly concerned at Lucy's statement. It could mean anything and her daughter never really went to her for advice unless she was desperate. Lucy was independent and mature, had been ever since she was small.

"Um," Lucy hadn't realised how embarrassing the conversation could turn out to be, as a blush crept up onto her cheeks, she could feel the heat rising and she cursed inwardly. May as well get it over with assuming Wendy was looking even more curious, "me and Lee are trying..." She trailed off, hoping her mother would get the hint.

"Trying for wh...Oh!" Wendy exclaimed with realisation as she peered at her daughter's embarrassed face, she could have fun with this but Wendy knew it was a sensitive matter to discuss with her daughter so she wasn't going to, "a baby? Then what's wrong?"

"It's just not happening," Lucy muttered as Wendy sat up and took hold of her daughter's hand. Lucy needed reassuring and although she knew Lee had probably done so many a time, Lucy probably needed to hear it off of someone else.

"You've got to give it time, love," Wendy consoled as tears finally made their way down Lucy's cheeks.

"It's been nearly two years, mum," Lucy answered as Wendy pulled her in for a hug, it was hard, she knew.

"It took me and your father ten years to have you, darling. These things just take time," Wendy murmured as Lucy nodded against her mother's shoulder, "there are other options if you're desperate."

"We've done most. We...uh..We're signing the papers to put us on the adoption register next week. Doesn't mean we'll get on it but it's worth the shot," Lucy informed Wendy as she sat back, shrugging her shoulders as Wendy nodded. Wendy hadn't realised they had been trying for that long or even were to begin with.

"Oh and how do you feel about that?" Her mother asked cautiously.

"We want and child and yes it would be nice to have one of our own but if it's not working then adoption is the only option and it's not the worst thing in the world. I didn't mean to work it like that I just don't know how to explain it," Lucy babbled as soon as she realised that she sounded like she was reluctantly going through with it.

"I know what you mean, darling."

NGONGONGO

Lee and Geoffrey walked side by side down the street and towards the take away, Lee's hands stuffed in his pockets as the two men had a fairly boring conversation about the cricket. Lee hated cricket. It was when Geoffrey suddenly changed the conversation did Lee's attention revert back to it.

"What's wrong with you and Lucy?"

"What do you mean?" Lee questioned slightly nervously, Geoffrey could begin to have a go at him any minute now. Lee knew what he was like when it came to his daughter.

"You both seem quite down," Geoffrey had noticed the pairs' mood as soon as they had walked through their front door. They both seemed slightly subdued and gloomy.

"Oh," Lee sighed with relief as his head went back to watching his feet walk across the pavement.

"C'mon then what's wrong?" Geoffrey prompted as Lee sighed.

"We're trying for a baby," Geoffrey's mood perked up slightly at the mere mention of the possibility of having a grandchild to spoil, "have been for nearly two year. Gone through the whole lot but nothing's happening and it's taking its toll."

Geoffrey nodded at the explanation he received. That explained quite a lot. Lucy had always been sensitive about the whole baby thing but he never thought Lee had wanted children, that was one of the main reasons he was sceptical about their relationship it seems he was wrong. God that hurt to think let alone say. Geoffrey Adams had been wrong.

"So, what are you doing about it?" He was curious now. The fact that they were so eager to have a child and that they had basically tried everything was the cause of it.

"We're filling adoption forms out next week," Lee told his father in law as Geoffrey nodded his head.

"And are you happy about that?" Was the unexpected question Lee received off of Geoffrey. He never pinned him down as being concerned for him. Maybe his marriage to Lucy had changed them both.

"I just want to make her happy," Geoffrey couldn't argue with that.


	12. Chapter 12

Lucy had been down ever since they'd tried everything to have a child of their own. So, Lee had gone and decided to do something special for her. A date night of some sort, they hadn't had one in ages and she deserved them. They deserved some time together without the pressure of trying to have a baby on them.

He wasn't usually the romantic type of person but he had been trying his best ever since they'd gotten married. He knew if he didn't try there was a possibility he'd lose her and he didn't want that, he loved her too much. That's how he found himself in Tesco trying to find suitable ingredients to make a meal. Well, a meal that he could cook without messing it up. It was when he was picking out a bottle a wine did he bump into Jenny.

"Oh hello," Lee muttered as Jenny smiled at him, that smile had always been unnerving.

"Hi. Where's Lucy?" She questioned curiously as Lee placed the bottle of wine in the shopping basket.

"At work. Having a date night, haven't had one in a while and I thought she deserved one so I'm going to try to cook," Lee babbled as Jenny waited patiently for him to stop.

"Oh," the smile was really freaking him out by now, "any particular reason?"

"Just some things aren't working out at the moment," he said vaguely as he gave a fake smile. He really wanted to leave but had to remind himself about what Lucy had said about manners, "anyway I best be off. Pasta doesn't cook itself," he said with false cheeriness as he wandered away from Jenny. Unawares to him she had caught him looking longingly at the baby-grows.

NGONGONGO

By time he got home, roped Wendy into helping him cook because his first attempt had gone disastrously and tidied the flat and added romantic touches it was nearing six o'clock and Lucy should be home anytime soon. Straightening his shirt he stood in the middle of the room as he awaited her arrival.

When Lucy walked into the flat a beaming smile crossed her face as she took in the scene in front of her. There was candles dotted around the place and a fresh bunch of roses sat on the dining table with two plates of food and glasses of wine already waiting for them. Smiling broadly she made her way up to Lee, giving him a kiss.

"What's all this for?" She questioned as her head peered back at the table.

"I wanted to treat my wife to a romantic evening," he answered as he pulled Lucy towards the table, pulling out the chair for her like a gentleman, "and we need to time to relax. So, no mentioning the adoption process tomorrow or kids in general. It's just us two," Lee instructed.

"Ok," Lucy agreed all too readily, she needed time away from thinking about it. Maybe it was the stress that was possibly affecting her.

"Good," Lee smiled as they both tucked into their meals.

"You cooked this?" Lucy questioned with an arch of her eyebrow. The amount of times Lee had attempted to cook and then having ordered takeaway and attempting to pass it off as a takeaway astonished Lucy.

"Yes…I did!" He defended as he saw Lucys' slight disbelief.

"Serious?"

"I'm serious. Ask your mother," ok maybe he had dropped himself in it there.

"You asked mum for help?" She questioned as she stared at her plate and then at him, "no wonder it tasted good."

"OI!"

**NGONGONGONGO**

"I was wondering…" Lucy begun as Lee rolled his eyes as they sat side by side on the sofa. He knew what was coming.

"I said no talking about babies," he muttered as Lucy jabbed him in the ribs.

"Let me finish. I was wondering that maybe we could go to bed," she said with a slightly suggestive look as she leant on her elbow on her husband's chest. At Lee's raised eyebrow she added, "No pressure of trying. It will just be about me and you," she whispered as her lips pressed themselves to his jawline.

"Oh ok," he answered back as his breath hitched. They only just got into the bedroom.


	13. Chapter 13

"What if we get declined?" Lucy questioned for the hundredth time that week as they awaited for another much anticipated phone call. Lee had sat and watched television all day as Lucy paced the flat, cleaning the place and trying to find something to occupy herself. It was irritating but he wasn't going to be stupid and cause an argument so he kept his gob shut.

"I'm pretty sure we won't, Lucy. They can't really say anything against us," he muttered as he kept his eyes trained on the television screen.

He was anxious about the phone call but was pretty confident that they would be accepted and put on the list. How could they not? There was nothing wrong with the flat or Lucy for that matter and despite everything there was nothing major they could say against him. So Lee thought that their chances of being able to adopt was high.

"But what if they find something?" She uttered. Lee had realised in the past few months that Lucy was a massive worrier when it came to something she cared about. Wendy had explained about how worried she had got on the wedding day and her having to reassure her with a small speech.

"They might find a minor charge against me when I nicked some sweets when I was ten," he informed her as Lucy rolled her eyes, "but it's not as if I killed someone and it's not affected any jobs I've had."

"You've hardly worked!" Lucy retorted as Lee huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, "sorry, darling I'm just anxious."

"I can tell," Lee informed her, "Lucy they've literally got nothing on us. Plus, I'm pretty sure your mother and father will be nice enough about us in the interviews. It's not as if they don't want grandchildren."

"Yeah," Lucy sighed as she finally sat down, propping her head on Lees' lap as she closed her eyes, Lees' right hand going to play with her hair.

"Just think the flat might not be this quiet anymore," Lee whispered as he peered around the place, "there could be a little person running around the place, making a mess…I swear to God if we have ten children like in that dream I had…" Lee veered off, forgetting he hadn't actually told Lucy what had exactly happened in his dream whilst he was in a coma.

"Huh? What dream?" Lucy mumbled as her hand found his left one, fumbling with his fingers.

"When I was in a coma," he answered as he felt Lucy nod to indicate for him to carry on with his explanation, "Do you know I said I dreamt about you and you being married with kids?"

"Yeah."

"We were married, we had fourteen children and it was…chaotic to say the least," Lee had a small smile as he remember the getting ran over by a car and actually being with Lucy.

"That was ages ago! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Scared," was Lees' reply and Lucy knew that he was on about his fear of commitment and revealing his feelings. That seemed to have gone out of the window as soon as he had thought that Lucy was possibly committing to a relationship that could've been serious. She still had to thank Toby and Anna for getting Lee to speak again because she knew there would have been a possibility that they would have stood staring at each other for a while.

"Oh," they sat in silence then, Lee watching the television and Lucy dozing slightly. She hadn't slept very well the night before.

They both jumped when the phone rang, the pair of them staring at it for a while until Lucy got up from the sofa, answering the phone and putting it to her ear gingerly, "no mum we haven't heard anything yet…Yes, we'll phone you as soon as we do. Love you too."

"We've been waiting for the phone all day and it's your mother," Lee chuckled as Lucy nodded her head in agreement, a small laugh escaping her lips as well as she sat down next to her husband.

That's when the phone rang again and Lucy once again got up off of the sofa, taking a deep breath, "no we don't want any PPI," Lucy told them down the phone as she hung up immediately. She couldn't deal with sale calls on a normal day but she definitely didn't need them now.

"Next time it rings we'll put it on speaker," Lee told her as Lucy nodded.

They didn't haven't wait long for the phone to ring again and they knew this time that it was the news they had been waiting for. Looking at each other with nerves and anticipation Lucy nodded her head as she picked up the phone and put it on speaker, holding it close to her mouth as she said hello. Lucy politely went through greetings and confirmation to prove that it was actually her speaking down the phone and not a stranger.

"I'm sorry. You're application has been declined," was the sentence she heard echo down the phone, it was said with practiced sympathy. Lee ran a hand over his face. Things were just getting worse and worse.

"Oh, why?" Lucy questioned swallowing the lump in her throat and trying to keep the tears at bay. She had cried too much in the past few months and she was fed up of it. She was fed up of getting upset and having Lee reassure her constantly.

"Something cropped up that we weren't expecting. I'm sorry," and this time Lucy could actually detect some sympathy from the woman over the phone.

"Thank you," Lucy muttered as she hung up, she didn't want to speak about it anymore, "I'm going to go to bed."

"Luce," Lee tried as he caught her hand as she attempted to get up from the sofa, "we have to talk about the next step."

"There is no next step, Lee. That was our only option," she pointed out as her hand pointed towards the phone.

"We could always have a sperm donor," he retorted as he watched her shake her head. She didn't want that and he wasn't exactly keen on the idea himself but if it was their last option then he would grab at it.

"No, Lee. I'm going to bed," Lucy said for the last time as she walked away, leaving Lee sat on the sofa, his head going into his hand.

As soon as Lucy had exited the room he made a grab for the phone, he had to know what they had done wrong. Why hadn't they been accepted? He needed to know.


	14. Chapter 14

Lee had phoned social services to find out what the problem was and was shocked to hear that someone had anonymously put in a complaint about them. And yet they wouldn't disclose what the complaint was, some bullshit about confidentiality. Lee had argued that if it was to do with him and Lucy then it was his business and had the right to know. They still wouldn't say and that was when he realised who had made the complaint and he was fuming.

She'd planned this. He knew it as soon as he had caught a glimpse of her outside the building, soon after they had signed their forms. He should've clicked really. Lee couldn't have been angrier at this point but he didn't want to upset Lucy even more. So he kept it secret.

After he had calmed down a little bit, he had phoned Wendy to tell them what had happen and then he had made his way toward the bedroom, wanting to make sure Lucy was ok, or at least coping. When he entered he wasn't surprised to see Lucy asleep on top of the covers, curled up in a ball as she clutched the teddy she had had since she was small. Lucy only ever hugged it when she was close to giving up. He also knew that if they ever had a child she was planning on giving the child the bear named George. Lee had no idea why the bears name was George but Lucy had only said that she was only small when she actually got round to naming the brown bear.

Muttering to himself he grabbed the blanket that rested on the end of the bed and placed it over his sleeping wife, kissing her gently on the forehead before going to his side of his bed, settling himself onto it as he grabbed the iPad, finding a movie. He needed to take his mind off of it but the movie wasn't doing a very good job.

Instead Lee turned to lay down on his side, to face Lucy's back, letting his hand touch the strands of hair that rested on her pillow. Things were just getting from bad to worse for them and Lucy didn't deserve it, not in his opinion. He wanted to make her happy and he wasn't at the moment. It killed him on the inside.

Lee couldn't go blaming himself, it wasn't his fault. He wasn't the one who made the complaint and if he just started blaming himself then things would end badly and he didn't want that.

Lee couldn't believe that in the end one person could make someone miserable by making a complaint. A stupid, fucking complaint that had gotten rid of their last chance of having a baby and essentially their unhappiness. Lee had never hated or felt disgusted with anyone than what he was feeling now for causing all of the grief they'd gone through in the past hour. And it had all been the result of one persons' actions.

Jenny.

NGONGONGO

"It's not going to happen, is it?" Lucy sighed as she and Lee sat in bed after she had woken up, a iPad on his lap and she had reached for her book, probably wanting to find some comfort in a fictional world. An escape that Lee couldn't blame her for.

"What? It will eventually, Lucy," Lee reassured her as Lucy strained a smile. Lee wasn't doing a very good at convincing himself so he had no idea how he was supposed to convince Lucy.

"Anyone else dare tell me that it just takes time, I'm going to bloody kill them," she murmured as Lee chuckled. That cliché had begun to get old and to hear it being repeated a multiple amount of times over the past couple of years was beginning to get very annoying and very old, very quickly.

"I'll help you," was his immediate response. It was a cliché saying anyway, "I know you said no earlier but that option is still open." He wouldn't be happy for Lucy to go through with it but if it made her happy then who was he to deny it?

"For the last time Lee, no," Lucy muttered as she glanced up from the book to look her husband in the eye.

"Why not?" He questioned, trying to be nonchalant and not fazed by the idea that she could still say yes.

"Because it won't be yours. If we conceive then the baby has got both of our DNA, if we had been able to adopt then it would have neither. I'd rather us be parents together and not me being a biological mother and you not," Lucy tried to explain but she couldn't really word it correctly.

"Huh?" Lee had obviously did not understand what she was saying.

"Umm… Just think of it like this. It's all or nothing," she said as Lee nodded his head, he kind of understood what she was now saying and meant in the first place.

"Yeah. Me too…I'm sorry, Lucy."

"What on earth have you got to be sorry for?" She muttered as she shuffled closer to him, her head going to rest on his shoulder.

"For not being able to give you what you want," he muttered as he felt one of Lucy's arms sneak around his waist.

"Don't be stupid. It's not your fault and there's still a possibility," Lucy replied as she turned her head to give the side of his neck a quick kiss, "besides if we never have a baby I'll always have you to look after…"

"Thanks," he deadpanned as one of his hands sneaked to rest behind her knee before beginning to tickle her there. Lucy immediately burst out laughing as Lee took full advantage to lean over her, tickling her at her sides, "Love you."

"Love ew too," Lucy replied in a stupid voice as Lee laughed before kissing her quickly. Then he resumed the tickling assault.


	15. Chapter 15

As days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months there had been no development. They'd tried everything they could possibly afford or think of doing or willing to do and Lee watched as Lucy's heart broke more and more each day. They had even Googled ways to make a baby. At that stage Lee had decided that they were being a bit desperate.

Maybe it would have been easier to have said no to the whole idea in the first place. That way he wouldn't have to watch his wife and their relationship slowly crumple into despair. They could have just seen what the future brought without having to go through so much trouble, let fate decide what would happen to them but they didn't.

They kept trying, of course they kept trying. He'd resigned himself to the fact that he really wanted a child now as well and the thought of being a dad was exciting and made him feel giddy but their relationship had begun to suffer. The stress of no development was beginning to take its toll on their relationship.

He was sure Lucy was on the verge of depression. The thought of not having something she's always wanted and not actually being able to have it was killing her inside. The fact he couldn't give it to her was killing him. She'd been more reserved recently, sleeping with her back to him, she would normally only do that if he hadn't gone to bed straight away but she was doing it even when he was with her and she'd shrug him off if he tried to console her, she'd thrown herself into her work and spent little of her time in the flat or with him. If there's one thing that hadn't changed was that she always said she loved him, before going to work and always before going to sleep. The rare darling remained. But he didn't know whether she said it out of habit or because she meant it. Doubting their marriage he knew was the beginning of a slippery slope.

Lee couldn't help but blame himself, which he hadn't had any intention of doing but the more he thought about it, the more he thought that it was his fault. He had promised to keep her happy but he was failing. Failing badly. And he promised himself he wouldn't fail. He couldn't fail.

Looking back now the strain had begun when they started their IVF treatment and Lucy's mood had declined. He was blind to it then as it just seemed natural that she would have been upset but now he knew differently. He knew that her hopes were dropping with each day that past. They knew it would take time but it had been so long since he agreed, it had become a distant memory. The end of their journey together was nearing and he wished he could cling on to the ledge he had but the further Lucy sunk into herself the harder it was, the ledge he was clinging onto became smaller. His fingertips were beginning to ache.

To be honest he hadn't been the best himself, the strain and stress beginning to take its toll on him. Grey hairs were propping up everywhere on his head, he knew he was getting older but having found more than half a dozen within the space of a few months he knew it wasn't age. That combined with the anger he still felt towards his ex was just making it worse.

He hadn't told Lucy that it was his good for nothing, bitch of an ex-girlfriend that had made the complaint about them and subsequently ruined their chances for adoption. It would just break her heart even more, that some pitiful, jealous, venomous bint could eventually be their downfall. So, he kept it secret and he was pretty certain that's where wrinkles were coming from.

Sighing he turned in bed to face Lucy's back, her hair fanned out on the pillow behind her. As gently and as quietly as he could, he scooted closer to her, moving her hair so his head could rest where inherited hair was. Sighing he gently wrapped his arm Lucy's waist and pulled her closer.

"No, Lee," Lucy muttered in a sleep filled voice as he held her firmer against him, his arm squeezing her waist as if he was hanging on from fear of letting go. Lucy didn't realise that that was probably the case.

"I just want to hold my wife…Please, Lucy?" He began firmly but his sentence soon turned into a pleading whisper as he attempted to keep tears in his eyes. It was hard to be this distant from Lucy. It was hurting him.

"Oh, ok," Lucy mumbled as she let his legs tangle with hers, his head burying into the crook of her neck.

"I love you so much," she felt him mumble into her skin before kissing her there. She hadn't realised he was crying until hot tears fell against her neck. They were both breaking inside.

"I love you too," she replied softly as she brought one of his hands up toward her lips, then brushing a kiss against his knuckles, keeping his hand there as she listened to his hitching voice. Lee had comforted her a lot over the past few months but she didn't know how to do it back. She didn't know how to make it all better.

Lucy didn't bother questioning what was wrong; she knew.


	16. Chapter 16

**Let's say that this is** **a week later...oh and thanks to the guest reviewer who's reviewing. I appreciate it and sorry I haven't updated in a while I keep on forgetting. Thanks also to everyone who has read this so far...**

Lee had not expected to see Jenny sat by the flat when he'd stepped out of the lift, having arrived home from work. He didn't want to see her, didn't want to even think of the bitch who had scampered their chance of having a child.

"I have nothing to say to you," Lee muttered angrily as he barged past her, opening the front door.

"What? I haven't done anything," she replied in a sickly sweet voice as she followed Lee into the flat, without his permission. He really wanted to kick her two faced arse out of the door. The only thing putting him off was a possible sentence for abuse…he could argue that she was trespassing.

"You know perfectly well what you've done," he retorted as he kept his back to her, he couldn't face her otherwise he would be forced to do something he really didn't want to do, "why?"

"Why what?" Jenny asked with an air of innocence and then Lee whirled round on her.

"Why did you make that complaint? How did you even know me and Lucy were looking to adopt? Why the fuck did you fucking do it!?" Lee fumed as he clenched his fists next to his sides, his face red as he shouted.

"Oh that. I don't know why you're so angry about it. You've never wanted children and I've saved you from being stuck with Lucy," was the reply he had. Jenny sounded as if she had no idea what she had done. How much she had hurt them because of it.

"I'm angry about it because I want it too. I want children with Lucy!" This woman was making him angrier by the second.

"Why?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" He raged as his breathing became heavy. It was getting too much, he didn't want to see her, "was it some kind of revenge? Is it because I was never willing to have children with you!?"

"Ye," was the calm reply he had off of his ex as she continued, "What does Lucy have that I don't? Why didn't you love me?" That's when the tears started with her.

"Oh for fuck sakes! Lucy means everything to me. You mean nothing to me. I hate you," he replied his sentence turning into a whisper as he glared at Jenny.

"You don't mean that, Lee."

"I do. I really do. It's taking me every ounce of will power not to throw you out right at this moment," he warned her, his nails were digging into his palm and his knuckles were turning white with the effort to keep his hands next to his sides.

"You wouldn't want to do the person you really love," she said with a smile as she cocked her head to the side. He was beginning to see red.

"The person I love isn't standing in front of me," he answered, he could hear the venom in his voice as he spoke. Lee had never been this angry before in his life. Every time he had been angry as a teenager and an adult put together wasn't adding up to the anger he felt at that moment in time.

"I still don't see why you love _her_, she's just a good for nothing slag," she muttered as Lee stepped back from her was too close, still in reaching distance.

"Don't you dare talk about Lucy like that," he whispered back dangerously as he narrowed his eyes, she was really pushing him now. She wanted a reaction and he wasn't going to give it to her. Not the one she wanted though, he would scream at her but he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of him touching her in any way, shape or form. She wasn't going to get it off of him, even at the rate she was going.

"Why not? She's not right for you, Lee," Jenny tried to gently coax as she took a step forward closer to Lee.

"And you are?" He questioned sarcastically but of course she didn't see that, he didn't even know if it did actually sound sarcastic. He had intended it to be.

"Yes," was the whispered reply he received. Lee didn't notice the lips that crashed into his but his reaction was quick as he pushed her off by her arms before pushing her towards the door, the smirk on her face wanting to make him do more than push her out.

That was when he noticed Lucy standing in the threshold of the flat, tears streaming down her cheeks.


	17. Chapter 17

They simply stared at each other for the first few minutes, tears falling like waterfalls down Lucy's cheeks as Lee looked at her pleadingly. He'd screwed up he'd actually screwed up big time. How the hell was he going to save this?

"Luce," he begun in a whisper as she shook her head, a betrayed look in her eyes, "Lucy." He tried again as he stepped closer to her, a hand going to her shoulder as she shrugged it off.

"No, Lee. How could you?" The defeat and hurt in her voice broke his hearts and knowing he was responsible made it ten times worse. Well, partly responsible. He would have much rather Lucy shout and scream at him, in sobs and close to breaking down than the nearly deadly quiet tone of voice that she was speaking in. It made the whole situation a lot worse and a lot more heart breaking.

How could he? How could he have let it happen? How could he have been so stupid to have let it happen? How couldn't he read the signs? He suddenly answered that one himself. Lee wasn't the most observant of men in the world and he couldn't see the glaringly obvious in front of him. Which is why he asked himself why was he so stupid? Stupid, stupid, stupid! Idiotic arse hole who should open his eyes.

"She. She made a move," Lee defended as the hurt that Lucy was feeling becoming more visible as time went on," I pushed her away as soon as she had. You've got to believe me, Lucy."

"Why don't I then?" Lucy whispered as Lee's face fell even more. She didn't believe him. Lee had a hard time coming back with an answer. Didn't she trust him? "Tell me, Lee. Why don't I believe you?"

"I...I don't know. Don't you trust me? You're my wife, Lucy. You're supposed to trust me," he begged as Lucy shook her head.

"I trust you, I just don't believe you," she argued as Lee looked on lost. What was he supposed to do now? How could he convince her? How is he supposed to make his wife believe that he was telling the truth? If he had stopped the kiss before it happened then they wouldn't be having this argument.

"Sweetheart I didn't kiss her. She kissed me. Please, Lucy, please believe me," he was close to begging now. He couldn't lose her but he think he might be at this point. The bitch had been plotting to split them from the start.

"Maybe it happened for a reason," Lucy began, tears beginning to stream down her face and Lee knew where this was heading, he didn't want to believe it like Lucy didn't believe him.

"What are you saying, Lucy?" Lee questioned as he stepped closer to her a pleading and heartbroken look in his eyes as tears began streaming down his face. He never cried, it wasn't him but he had waited so long to just tell Lucy he loved her and now he was losing her so suddenly, he couldn't deal with it.

"Maybe.." Lucy took a deep breath before her voice lowered to a whisper, "we should take a br-break from u-us for a bit."

"What?" He needed to hear it again to make sure he was actually saying what he thought she was saying.

"I...I think we need to spend some time apart," Lucy muttered again. Their relationship had been strained recently and maybe being apart would do them some good. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

His throat had gone dry but his eyes grew wetter. No he couldn't. He couldn't spend time apart. It might make him sound clingy but the longer they spent 'on a break' then the more likely it was that they wouldn't get back to the way they were before and he couldn't go through with a divorce. He doesn't think he'd be able to handle it.

"Just. Just get out," Lucy muttered through suppressed cries as Lee stood still. She was kicking him out, things had just suddenly started to sink in.

"Please Lucy."

"Get out," it once again came in a deadly whisper as Lee bowed his head. He couldn't stand to watch as Lucy walked off and slammed their...well her bedroom door shut behind her and on him.

Sighing, Lee made his way towards the dining table and grabbed his clothes that had just gotten out of the wash before putting them in his backpack. He'd have to try and find somewhere to stay for a few days.

Slugging his now full backpack onto his back he made his way over to the desk and picked up his keys and wallet and putting them in his pockets, only to pause to place stuff back into Lucy's handbag which had item in particular caught his eye; a fuzzy black and white photograph that looked like it had been printed on an old polaroid film. Frowning he picked it up and peered more closely at it. When realisation hit he dropped it back onto the desk.

Lucy was pregnant.

Picking the photo back up he turned it over and noticed the date that was scribbled on the top. She'd only found out earlier and she was about 12 weeks gone. Flipping it back over, Lee traced the tiny grainy outline of the baby. His baby, his son or daughter, his child, a part of him and a part of Lucy. Grabbing his phone Lee took the best photo he could possibly get of the image before placing it back in Lucy's bag.

Lee knew it would be a good idea to go and have a chat with her now but after everything that had happened today he thought best of it. Sighing sadly he exited the flat, wondering whether the hotel would be able to give him a room for a couple of days, he knew Geoffrey and Wendy certainly wouldn't.

(I was going to write a chapter on Lucy having morning sickness but I got writers block and this reveal was more fun. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed.)


	18. Chapter 18

"I know," He simply stated to her when he went to pick up a few bits and pieces. It had been a couple of days and he'd been staying in the hotel in which he worked. Now he was running out of clothes.

"What do you know?" Lucy questioned as she stood near the door, her arm right crossed over her chest and her hand clutching her left arm, a sad expression on her face as she watched Lee pack a few DVD's into a backpack. They weren't not speaking and Lucy was coming to terms with the break they were now on. It would do them some good and she knew she should believe him but she was finding it difficult, not after she had heard the last three lines of their conversation.

"That you're pregnant," Lee stated as his head lifted and eyes locked with hers before his head turned again and he zipped his backpack up before making his way towards their bedroom, Lucy trailing behind with a slightly shocked expression.

"I was going to tell you," she was trying to defend herself but Lee knew she would have told him eventually but he had to know when. What if she wasn't planning on telling him for a while now they were on a break? What if she didn't want him involved? That broke his heart. He wanted this baby too, had done for a long time now.

"When?"

Opening up the chest of drawers he began to withdraw pieces of clothing that he needed, placing them in the suitcase that rested on their bed. He didn't take everything because they didn't know in which direction their relationship was heading.

"Before we..." Her statement trailing off as her breath hitched and realisation dawned on Lee as he slumped to sit on the bed. That's why she had been so happy and the vision of Lucy's face slipping from beaming and smiling to a frown filled his mind.

"Oh," Lee simply replied before adding, "when did you find out?"

"When I went to the doctors because I was being sick..." Lucy's hand went to her mouth as she made a dash for the bathroom. Talking about being sick.

With a worried expression Lee followed and found her hunched over the toilet, retching. Kneeling down next to her he took the risk and held her hair back and rubbed her back. They were still talking after all so that was a start, right?

"Ugh," Lucy groaned as she let her back and head hit the wall, her eyes closed, knees bent and arms resting over them. She had to get used to this.

"We need to talk about what's going to happen," Lee stated as he grabbed the glass the toothbrushes were resting in and filled it up for Lucy before plonking himself down on the floor next to her.

"I've got a scan in a couple of weeks," Lucy mumbled to him as Lee nodded, ok so he'd have to remember that.

"Can I come?" Lee asked nervously. He really wanted to be there for everything but he knew it was going to be difficult now they were on a break and Lucy wasn't going to let him back in the flat anytime soon," I want to be there for everything...even if we're not together." The last bit to say broke his heart.

Opening her eyes and turning her head to peer at him she sighed, she couldn't deny him, "Tuesday 1:30."

"Ok...I'm going to finish getting my stuff," he sighed as he pointed towards the door with no effort whatsoever. He didn't want to leave Lucy like this but he had a feeling that she didn't really want him there. He couldn't blame her really she was upset and hurt and that was his fault...well his stupid ex-girlfriends fault.

Getting up he left the bathroom, leaving Lucy with tears streaming down her face. It wasn't the way she imagined it would be, telling Lee that they were going to have a child. She'd imagined coming home from the hospital and sitting him down and just handing him the photo, waiting for him to figure it out. But it didn't happen like that.

Lucy would've loved to have seen the confusion and then joy appear on his face. Lucy would've loved to have for them to get excited together, to talk about the future and their worries, to have told their families together, to have decorated a nursery and baby proof the flat. It didn't look like it would happen now. Well, not with them as a couple at least. Closing her eyes again she sighed deeply whilst taking a deep breath, suddenly feeling nauseous again as she launched herself to hunch over the toilet. Whoever called it morning sickness was an idiot. It was two o'clock in the bloody afternoon. Then she figured it was probably a man like Lee.


	19. Chapter 19

"Can I speak to Timothy Adams please?" He asked politely over the phone. Lee was sat on his bed in his temporary home with whiskey at his bedside, the tumbler filled slightly. It was as good as it was going to get.

He'd been placed in one of the staff rooms, so it wasn't anything special. Just a simple double bed in the middle of the room, an en-suite, desk, chair, lamp and phone surrounded by yellowish rooms. It was basic but it would do for now. But if he and Lucy stayed separated for long then he'd have to relocate. It was going to be room service and takeaways for the next few months.

Lee waited for a few minutes, phone pressed to his ear as Tim's German co-worker went off to find him, leaving him in silence. Lee needed a friend to talk to and Tim had always been there for him before so maybe he could help this time. Maybe he could talk his sister round.

"Timothy Adams speaking," came the welcomed voice over the phone.

"Tim, it's me mate, "Lee started.

"Lee! How's everything?" And Lee knew Tim would eventually ask that question and Lee didn't want to lie.

"Uh not great," Lee mumbled down the phone. The pause was only a second but it felt like eternity.

"What's happened?" He heard Tim sigh down the phone as Lee began fiddling with the duvet. Tim could possibly go ape shit when he told him.

"Me and Lucy are on a break," he muttered again as he listened to shifting the other side of the phone and then a door closing.

"What did you do?" Came an angry voice over the phone, "what did you do to my sister!?"

"I didn't do anything," he began defensively before he added, "it was my ex."

"You kissed her didn't you," It was more of statement rather than a question. Tim knew everything and it scared Lee. When Lucy and Lee phoned him to say they were engaged he had guessed within the first line.

"She kissed me!" Lee defended. Was anyone going to side with him at all? Not that he could blame them really, he was partly to blame for not seeing the signs but it wasn't entirely his fault, he should've pushed her away quicker.

"Lee," Tim warned as Lee sighed.

"I wouldn't do that to Lucy. Why would I kiss someone when the only person I'd want to kiss is her? Tim, I love her too much to do that. I wouldn't ever be unfaithful," Lee very nearly sobbed down the phone. It was breaking his heart and he didn't know how to deal with it.

"I know," came Tim's sigh over the phone as Lee unlocked his mobile phone pulling up the picture of his child.

"I miss her and it's only been a day," came Lee's hitched voice and he could see Tim frown in confusion. Since when did Lee cry in front of him? Even if it was over the phone. He wasn't one to do that, "she hasn't been herself in a long time and I've made it worse."

"There's more to it isn't there?"

"Yeah," Lee admitted as his watery eyes trained on the photograph, "she's pregnant."

"What?" Came Tim's whispered question down the phone, an air of disbelief in his voice as Lee repeated what he had said, and "how far gone"?

"Around 12 weeks," he had guessed because of the due date that was scribbled on the back of the sonogram.

"What are you going to do?" Tim was hoping that Lee would answer correctly.

"Try and fix this. We've been trying for so long and when it finally happens I'm not there properly. I don't want that, Tim," Lee admitted and he could see his best friend nodding at the other side.

"Make sure you do," was the warning Lee had.

"I promise."

"Right, I'll phone later. I've got work to get on with," that was the end of this conversation then. Talking about being blunt.

"Bye."

After Lee hung up the phone he sighed and turned to lie on his side, his eyes still trained on the sonogram on his phone. He was going to be a dad and he was going to do the best for his boy or girl because he already loved the child that was growing inside his wife. He was going to be there for her for the whole of the pregnancy whether she liked it or not.


	20. Chapter 20

(Big time jump! Also, I had a guest review who thought it was dragging it's feet and getting dull and I apologise for that so this and the next chapter will be its last :) )

Wendy bolted into her daughter's bedroom when she heard a very loud groan. Lucy was sat on the edge of the bed panting through pain as Wendy went a kneeled next to her.

"Let's get you to a hospital," that's all Lucy could do was nod as Wendy guided her out of the flat after grabbing bags.

"It's actually happening," Lucy murmured as Wendy flagged down a taxi.

The pregnancy itself had gone smoothly, nothing compared to the stages it took to actually get to where they were now. Lee had been at every scan, bought bits and pieces, did out the nursery and bought Lucy anything that she was craving. He still hadn't managed to fix their relationship though.

"Phone Lee," Lucy instructed Wendy as she squeezed her mother's hand, tightly.

Lee had been there for the whole 38 and a half weeks, he redecorated his old bedroom and bought toys and clothes. Lee turned up to every scan, ran all the way back to the flat at one in the morning when Lucy had informed him that the baby was kicking, he spoke to the baby when he brought Lucy the food she was craving and visited every day in the first few weeks to see how she was coping with the morning sickness. He had been amazing and it made Lucy feel guilty.

"Ok. Try and keep count on how far apart your contractions are," Wendy told Lucy as she nodded her head, beginning to time from the contraction she had just had on the watch that rested on her wrist.

"Lee! Lucy's gone into labour…on the way now…ok see you in a bit," Wendy spoke down the phone as Lucy concentrated on the timing between contractions, "he's on his way."

When Wendy had found out that Lee and Lucy were on a break she was slightly shocked. They seemed happy but when her daughter had sobbed the story down the phone, whilst also revealing that she was pregnant Wendy had decided otherwise. As soon as Wendy told Geoffrey he had marched out of the flat and straight to Lee who was working, shouting at him in front of everyone to begin with but was quickly steered away towards Lees' temporary residence. Lee had told his side of the story and sighed. He wasn't happy but Lee had seemed so distraught and upset that he believed him.

"8 and a half minutes," Lucy panted as another contraction hit, bringing Wendy out of her thoughts as she felt the grip of her daughters hand.

"Ok so still a bit to go," Wendy informed her daughter with sympathy, "have your waters broken?" She watched as her daughter relaxed and shook her head, the taxi driver speaking up.

"She better not make a mess," he warned and Wendy saw Lucy beginning to fume.

"Oh get lost! I'm in labour for Christ sake. If your wife or girlfriend was in labour would you be complaining about the mess!? No? I didn't think so!" God, she was moody.

"Sorry," was the guilty reply she received off the taxi driver.

"Thank you!" She huffed as Wendy sent an apologetic glance through the mirror.

Two contractions later and they had made it to the hospital and just as Lucy stepped out of the black cab her waters broke. Wendy hurriedly paid the driver, telling him to keep the change before helping Lucy hobble through the main entrance, where she found a wheelchair. Lucy was immediately put through to the maternity ward, thankfully Lee had had enough common sense to phone ahead and warn them.

Once Lucy had settled to a degree, given gas and air for the pain and a bottle of water was when Geoffrey arrived. Informing her that Lee was stuck in traffic and was trying to find the quickest way possible and that it sounded like he was running.

"Knowing him he'll miss it," Lucy muttered.

"We've got some time yet," the nurse in the room informed them before exiting, groaning Lucy let her head flop back onto the pillow.

"Daisy and Tim are in the waiting room," Geoffrey informed his daughter just as another contraction hit, "I'll tell them not to disturb." The sight of his daughter in pain was bad enough but he couldn't handle labour, he found it difficult when Wendy had gone through it.

"I don't want to do this alone," Lucy said through some tears as her mother pressed a flannel to her daughter's forehead.

"You won't, love."


	21. Chapter 21

**Last chapter. Thanks to everyone for the reviews etc. Not my best story I admit but the idea was stuck in my head and I had to write it.**

"Where the hell is he!?" Lucy cried as she clutched her mother's hand tighter, tears and sweat mixing together as she panted through the contraction that rippled her body. When people said this hurt they weren't lying. Lucy had long given up on gas and air, it wasn't helping and she was too far along for an epidural.

"Daisy said he's on his way," Wendy informed her daughter as Lucy's contraction ended, "there's about ten minutes until the next one." Wendy had worked it out within a few seconds. Lucy was going to be there for a while yet by the looks of it but you never knew.

"He better bloody hurry up!" Lucy seethed as her mother patted her forehead with a flannel.

"He'll be here, darling," Wendy consoled as they heard a knock on the door as Geoffrey popped his head through, wincing at the sight of his daughter looking awful and in pain.

"How's everything?" He asked as he heard Lucy moan, one that said what the hell do you think!? "Ok. I'll just leave you be," Geoffrey mumbled as he retreated out of the door. If Lucy was anything like Wendy going through this then for the first time in a long time he felt sorry for Lee.

Then Daisy came skipping in through the door and made everything worse, "c'mon Lucy. It can't be that bad. It's only labour."

The scowl Lucy sent Daisy made her cower. Dropping the ice chips on the table Daisy left as quickly as Geoffrey did. Wendy wordlessly grabbed the cup and fed one to her daughter as Lucy began to calm down a bit.

"I'm sorry I'm being such a pain," Lucy muttered to her mother as she stared up at her mother, fear in her eyes.

Wendy didn't blame her daughter one bit. Lucy had every right to be moody and a pain the arse. The amount of bodily fluids and pain she was going through was bound to be uncomfortable. Plus, the amount of time it was taking was enough to drive anyone into a state. Television shows got it so wrong sometimes it was scary. Labour was scary.

"No one told me it was going to be this hard," Lucy sobbed as Wendy brought her as best as she could into her side as she stroked her daughter's hair.

"People might say it's tough and the worse pain you'll ever go through but no one can prepare for it. But once this is all done you'll have the most precious gift you could ever ask for," Wendy whispered to Lucy when another contraction hit her suddenly, "Just breathe through it, love. We're down to 6 minutes now," Wendy informed her as Lucy nodded her head, tears streaming down her face.

"I need him, mum," and in a moment of insecurity and pain she realised she needed him and not just for now she needed him as her best friend, her husband and as the father of their child. She needed him back in her life. But accepting him back straight away might make him think that she'd forgiven him straight away and she couldn't have that, even if it broke her heart.

"He'll be here, Lucy. He'll always be here for you. Lee loves you so much he wouldn't let you do this on your own."

Not five minutes later and when Lucy was quarter a way through a contraction Lee burst through the doors, flinging his jacket onto the floor. As he reached Lucy's side, Wendy had moved and Lucy had grabbed him by his tie, pulling his face to be centimetres away from hers.

"I'm going to bloody kill you. Where the hell have you been!? You got me into this fucking mess in the first place you're going to be damn well here when I try and get us out," she gritted through her teeth as Lee gulped. Lucy was really glad to see him though.

"Ok, Lucy," Lee answered with terror showing in his eyes.

"Good or I'll personally rip your bollocks off," Lucy gritted out again as her hand tightened around his tie, her head burying into his shoulder as another contraction rippled through her body. Things were really beginning to pick up, "call the bloody nurse."

Sending a pleading glance at Wendy as best as he could over Lucy's head, she went to get a nurse. Prying her hand away from his tie he put it into his hand. Maybe it was best to have left it on his tie, her grip was a death grip! God the next few hours were going to be a nightmare. Plus who knew she could be that threatening?

Then the nurse came in, chuckled at Lucy explicit aimed towards Lee and examined her. She could also see Lee's hand begin to turn blue from lack of blood. Meeting Lucy's eyes she nodded as she said,

"It's time to start pushing."

NGONGONGO

An hour later and Lucy's head was lolling against Lee's shoulder, sweat and tears running down her face, her hand still clutching Lee's but less tightly than it had been. He was perched on the edge of her bed next to her, one leg hanging off as he watched the nurse's fuss around them. The relieving sound of their baby crying ringing around the room.

It had been a tough hour with screaming, pain, encouragement and a lot of cursing. A lot. Lee being on the remaining end of it. He'd never heard her swear so much in his life and in front of Wendy who was sat the other side of the bed a relieved and elated smile on her face.

Wendy deciding to give them some space with their child. Giving her daughter a kiss to the forehead she explained where she was going, taking a glance at her grandchild as she passed.

"And here's your little boy," the nurse exclaimed as she handed the baby to Lucy, him just in his nappy as she brought him to lie on her chest, the blanket covering them.

Lucy couldn't speak, she'd just been handed her baby, her child, her own flesh and blood. Her sons head was resting against her shoulder, his tiny fist clenched next to his face as his feet wiggled a bit, his fresh brand new skin touching hers. It was like nothing she'd ever experienced before and tears stung her eyes as reality sunk in. She'd actually had her baby.

Gently she kissed the top of his head where a small tuft of dark brown hair lay. Lucy stayed there for a couple of seconds with her eyes closed before opening them and turning her head slightly to face Lee. He had a content and elated smile on his face, tears falling down his own cheeks as he stared at their boy in her arms. Lucy had to smile softly back at him as she squeezed his hand.

"Do you want to hold him?" Lucy whispered as Lee breathed in deeply.

"If...if you don't mind?" He questioned back as Lucy smiled on the inside at him. Shuffling a bit Lucy picked up their son, who still didn't have a name and handed him to Lee.

Lucy watched as Lee settled him into the crook of his elbow carefully and apprehensively. She'd never seen him handle anything with that much care before, other than the time she'd been carried home by him the time she'd gotten hammered and couldn't walk. They weren't even in a relationship then and she should've guessed. Waiting until he'd gotten comfortable she brought the blanket up over them as she played with her sons toes.

"He's so small," Lee whispered with awe as Lucy giggled slightly.

"Babies are that small," she pointed out as Lee shrugged a minuscule amount, careful not to disturb his son whose eyes had opened for the first time, blue eyes staring up at him in confusion until the baby realised something and relaxed again. Maybe it was because he didn't have the smell and feel of his mother close by.

"We need a name," Lee pointed out, trying to get the attention of his stupid comment away.

"What are you thinking?" They'd never had this conversation, they didn't have the chance to have the conversation. That stabbed at her heart a bit.

"Something a bit old fashioned," he mumbled as he stared down at his boy. An old fashioned name to go with a new person. Something he'd grow into not out of.

"Like Wilfred or something?" Lucy questioned. Lee grimaced Wilfred, although a nice name, was a name that in his opinion belonged to the past or an older person's name.

"Not Wilfred," he muttered as he watched his son begin to fall asleep. Lee knew that Lucy would have to feed him soon and he'd have to leave for that but he wanted to be there, for now at least, for the first few minutes of his son's life.

"Alfie?" Lucy wondered. It was her grandfather's name and she hadn't thought about using it before now, before Lee had suggested it

"Alfie," was all that Lee breathlessly whispered as he continue to stare down at his son.

"Hello Alfie," they both said in unison as Lucy's finger traced Alfie's cheek.

NGONGONGO

"I'm your dad," Lee whispered to the tiny bundle, wrapped up in a blue blanket that lay in his arms.

An hour had passed and Lucy had fallen asleep and his son had begun to fuss in the plastic cot that lay by her bed side. So, Lee had rolled his sleeves back up to his elbows and ruffled his hair before picking up Alfie and settling him in the crook of his elbow. Lee stood still as he watched his son free his fists from the blanket and began thrashing them around in the air, his wide blue eyes staring up at him.

Risking letting the arm that wasn't necessarily supporting Alfie he brought it up so his pinkie was next to his Alfie's hand as his sons' fist clenched around it with a strong grip, swinging his arm around wildly. Grinning at the baby he couldn't quite believe was his, Lee began to make silly faces as he cooed slightly.

Hearing Lucy shift slightly in bed and groan Lee took a glance at her. Sighing, he quietly made his way out of the room, past the nurses and towards the guest waiting room. Alfie had still not met his relatives. As soon as Lee walked through that door they'd be bombarded. He knew it. He also knew his dad wouldn't be there either. Too busy scamming for more money probably.

Stopping just outside and out of view he glanced down at his son...his son. He doesn't think he'd ever get used to saying that. Taking a deep breath the nurse gave a smirk as she passed, knowing the screams that should soon erupt from the waiting room, guaranteed to wake the whole ward up at this ungodly hour of six in the morning. It was the earliest he'd been up in a while.

Nudging the door open with his shoulders Lee gave a smile as Tim immediately jumped up from his seat. Everyone else asleep. With tears in his eyes Tim took his nephew off of a reluctant Lee who unwillingly passed him over.

"Alfie say hello to Uncle Tim," Lee whispered as he plonked himself down onto a seat, the scrape of the chair waking everyone up as they blinked blearily before realisation dawned on them and they sprung up before and then began gushing over Alfie. Everyone except Daisy who still slept on the sofa in the corner.

"How's Lucy?" Wendy questioned as they watched Geoffrey hold Alfie in his arms, a beaming smile on his face.

"Sleeping and sore," Lee replied before muttering, "she's going to kill me when she finds out I've introduced you to Alfie."

"We'll pretend that you haven't," Tim consoled as they handed the baby boy back to his father.

"Come and get us when Lucy's woken," Geoffrey spoke as he kissed his grandsons forehead before going back to his armchair and swiftly falling asleep, everyone else following closely behind.

Shaking his head Lee left the room before making his way back to Lucy's. He stood by the window as he glanced at the courtyard below them, the sun was just beginning to rise and it gave a fair reddish glow to the usually bleak hospital room.

"I know you're not going to understand a word of what I'm about to say," Lee begun as he spoke in hushed tones to his son as to not wake Lucy up," truth is Alfie I was very scared about having children. Just the thought of a little person depending on you was daunting...still is. But you see the thing is Alf I agreed mainly because it would make your mummy happy and it's made her and me the happiest people alive having you," by now Lee had gone to rest in the chair next to Lucy's bed, "and we tried so hard to have you. It took a while and we were giving up but then mummy found out she was pregnant and your daddy messed up. We may not be living together at the moment but I want you to know that we both love you very much and I'm sure you love mummy too, just like I do and it will never change."

By now Lucy had woken up but pretended to sleep as she listened to Lee speak to their son. It was the most heartfelt thing she had ever heard coming from him and probably the most heartfelt thing he had ever said. Lucy kept her eyes close as she listened to Lee continue talking to Alfie.

"I'm going to warn you now before you become disappointed. I'm rubbish. I've only ever done two things in my life that don't make me rubbish and those are having you and marrying your mum. But I mucked that up then," his breath hitched as he carried on, "because I can't see what's happening in front of me. I'd never hurt her on purpose and that mean woman tried kissing me and I pushed her away, I wouldn't do anything like that to mummy. Anyway, the point is I may muck up...a lot but I love you and I want you to remember that."

Lee chuckled as Alfie stared up at him and then yawned. Great he had bored his own son within the first few hours of his life. This wasn't going well so far. Lee felt the hand that was clutching his pinkie slacken as his son fell asleep, a contended look on Alfie's face to match his.

Standing up from the chair, Lucy watched from the bed as Lee placed Alfie back into his temporary cot, tucking his tiny arms back into the blanket and kissing Alfie's forehead.

Silently and slowly Lucy got out of bed and made her way over to them both, her hand going to rest on his arm, making him jump slightly as he peered down at her, a smile on her face.

"How are you feeling?" Lee questioned as Lucy's face turned to peer into the cot and down at their son.

"Sore and tired but the happiest I've been in a while," Lucy mumbled the last part but Lee still heard it, a pang of guilt stabbing at his heart.

"I'm sorry, Lucy," he spoke to her as Lucy blinked back tears. Bloody hormones.

"Me too," was her whispered reply as Lee risked putting an arm around her shoulders. Luckily it was worth it as Lucy leaned into him, her arms wrapping around his middle. Kissing the top of her head he then let his head rest against hers, both looking down at their son.

Things weren't fixed, he knew that but maybe they were back on the right track.

THE END.


End file.
